Series: TOS, TSFS
Word Count: approx 1400
Disclaimer: They're not mine, unfortunately.
Summary: Taken from a prompt at st_tos_kink : Kirk/Spock COMPLETE JEALOUSY over McCoy having held Spock's Katra. Seriously angsty sex, shit, make Jim cry if you like.
Jim had seen them together. The slight nod from Spock, the knowing wink from McCoy as he'd tapped his finger to his temple. They had a connection now, because of that goddamn katra.
He knew Spock had no other choice. Jim hadn't been there to be given the katra, and McCoy had accepted it unknowingly. Still, there was that undeniable twinge of jealousy whenever he saw the two together. Spock was his, always had been. But now part of him seemed to belong to someone else, and Jim wasn't privy to the connection the two men shared.
He'd done a decent job of pushing the feelings of jealousy deep within himself. Attempting to hide them away, so as not to damage his relationship with Spock and his friendship with McCoy. Spock still came to him at night. Soft kisses, familiar touches, whispered words. It was as it had been before.
As time went on, however, Kirk could feel his jealousy rearing its ugly head.
Jim's blood seemed to boil when he spotted his two best friends working together, analyzing results, deep in quiet conversation. His mind always told him it was innocent, and he knew it was, but something deep within him raged as he watched the two men together.
He wasn't sure how he found himself outside Spock's quarters that night. Somewhere between waking and dreaming he seemed to have stumbled there. Ignoring the buzzer, he simply banged his fist on Spock's door. The Vulcan answered, clearly having been awoken from sleep but not appearing the least disheveled.
Spock's face appeared mildly puzzled. He had always been the one to visit Jim's quarters, somehow always knowing when Kirk wanted or needed him there. That was their pattern. So, to find a frantic Kirk outside his quarters at such a late hour was an unexpected event.
“Captain?” Spock questioned earnestly. “Is there an emergency?”
Jim merely shock his head.
“Spock..” he muttered as he pushed himself through the door.
Grabbing the back of Spock's head, he pulled the Vulcan to him, their mouths meeting in a harsh kiss. It had never been their way, but in that moment Kirk didn't care. He needed something from Spock, something he couldn't vocalize. He needed the harshness. He needed to feel it all.
As the kiss broke, Spock stood before him, strong and still as a statue. His dark eyes seemed to bore straight through Kirk, as he looked at his Captain questioningly.
“Jim,” the deep voice seemed to resonate from somewhere within Spock.
Kirk didn't reply. His hands moved quickly to undo Spock's robe, and he pulled the fabric from Spock's body. He ran his hands over Spock's bare torso, feeling every bump and curve. He knew it well, of course, but he felt as if he needed to examine it all. To commit it to memory.
His head cocked slightly, Spock watched Jim. Still unsure as to what brought about such strange behaviour, Spock remained silent, allowing the human to explore. Kirk ran his hand over Spock's nipples, before lowering his head. The Vulcan's back arched as Kirk flicked his tongue over an erect nipple, before moving across Spock's body and taking the other one in his mouth.
Kirk moaned to himself as he grasped Spock's slender hips, and he allowed his tongue to travel further down Spock's body. He paused at the waistband of the Starfleet regulation issue briefs. Running his hand over the fabric, Jim could feel that Spock was already hard. Hooking a finger in the waistband of the briefs and yanking them off Spock's body, Kirk heard an audible breath escape Spock's lips as his erection met the open air.
Pushing Spock backwards towards the bed, Jim began to strip himself of his own clothes. He made quick work of his shirt, before toeing off his boots, and unbuckling his pants. As Jim removed the rest of his clothing, Spock lowered himself until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Jim recognized the quizzical look behind Spock's eyes, but he still offered no explanation. There was none to be given. At least not one which would make sense.
“Spock.. You are mine..” Jim merely whispered, running his hand through Spock's hair and kissing him deeply again.
“Of course, Jim..” Spock replied when their lips parted.
Kirk pressed against Spock's shoulders, silently encouraging him to lie down. Spock submitted, falling back against the bed. Kneeling over Spock, Kirk took the Vulcan in his mouth.
As he sucked and licked and palmed Spock, Jim continued murmuring to himself.
“You're mine.. he won't have this..”
Raising his head, Spock looked at Kirk with as much confusion as he could muster.
“To whom are you referring Captain?”
Shaking his head again, Jim released Spock from his mouth. Rearing up suddenly, he sat back, placing himself between Spock's legs. Lifting the Vulcan's heavy leg, he placed it over his own, before pulling the other leg up as well, spreading Spock wide. The realization hit Jim that he'd come unprepared, and he spit into his hand and rubbed it over his erection. He hoped it was enough, but he knew it probably wasn't.
His left hand clasping Spock's hip, Jim eased himself inside the Vulcan. They'd done this countless times before, but never with so little preparation. Spock's eyes closed and a mild grimace came over his face as Kirk entered him. Pushing in slowly, Jim pulled his hips back until he was nearly out, before thrusting in again.
Spock took it. His Vulcan strength could have easily overpowered Jim and stopped him, but Spock took it. Kirk fell into a rhythm, thrusting harder and deeper, his fingers digging into the skin on Spock's thighs.
“He won't see you like this..” Jim muttered. “This is for me.”
Spock had stopped asking questions, he merely observed. He watched as Jim's facial expressions went from something akin to sadness, to anger, and finally to pure rage. Sweat beading on the Captain's brow, his eyes appearing wild, he continued pounding against Spock's body.
“You're mine, Spock. You are mine..”
“Jim..” Spock said quietly.
There was a pause in Kirk's rhythmic pounding, as Spock's voice seemed to wash over him like cool water, jolting him from the trance he'd been in. As Jim turned his gaze to meet Spock's eyes, his expression suddenly changed. It softened, and Spock noticed what appeared to be tears welling up in Jim's eyes. Kirk blinked several times, as if trying to force them away.
Jim continued thrusting, more gently, as he reached for Spock's hand. Forcing Spock's fingers apart until he was open-palmed, Jim brought the Vulcan's hand up to his face. He pressed Spock's fingers against his temple and chin. His hand covering Spock's, he pushed it again, wordlessly pleading for the Vulcan to mind meld with him.
Spock attempted to ease his hand from Kirk's grasp.
“Spock, please..” Kirk begged, his eyes pleading, the tears still pooled there. He knew it was the only way to make the Vulcan understand.
Pressing his fingertips to Kirk's face, Spock began the meld. His body tensed as he saw flashes of colour. Scenes flickered in his line of sight then quickly disappeared. He saw himself, hooded, white-robed. He heard his own voice echoing, “your name is Jim.” He saw the halls of the Enterprise, sickbay, the bridge. Saw himself huddled with McCoy, analyzing recent data, deep in conversation.
As the scenes flicked past him, Spock experienced the waves of emotion that came with them. Fear followed by relief and pure joy. Love, comfort, and happiness, followed quickly by envy, jealousy, anger, and finally rage.
Spock jerked his fingers from Kirk's face, struggling to piece together the information he'd been given. Suddenly it became clear. The feelings of jealousy, the anger, they were connected to McCoy. The katra. The inevitable connection they had developed. The elusive 'he' Kirk had referred to, it was McCoy.
“You're mine, Spock..” Jim said quietly, his eyes closing.
Spock reached up to touch Jim's face again, wiping away a few stray tears.
“Yes, Jim,” Spock said, his voice low and comforting. “I am yours. Only yours. Just as you are mine.”
Hearing those words, Kirk's mind and body seemed to finally relax and he let out a sigh as he reached his climax. He allowed himself to fall against Spock, his body shuddering against the Vulcan's.
“I'm yours.” Kirk whispered.